Confusion About Ending the Agony

Dear Joyce,

I had two strokes, the first in August 2013 and the second during back surgery in late 2019, and I now, 10 months later, I am still feeling the effects of depression. At times and infrequently, I want to end it all, but other times I even laugh at someone's joke or funny anecdote. It's the former, wanting to end it all, that makes we worried that somehow I will. 

I don't have health insurance for a psychologist since I thought that would be your answer. Help is needed, and the sooner the better. 

Signed,

Hapless Stroke Survivor

Dear Hapless,

Don't fret. I was going to suggest an impartial psychotherapist, but without insurance, I have other ideas, too. A licensed social worker is a close second to build up your self esteem and give your life worth where you won't have thoughts “to end it all.” A member of the clergy would do as well. Please investigate your local hospital and see if they have services. Just recognizing your thoughts as a last-resort action shows that you know it's not the way to go. 

Best of luck, Hapless.  And hopefully, the next time you write to me, perhaps you will sign Happy Stroke Survivor!

Brought to you by Strokefocus and one of its associations, Northwest Brain Network

Anger from Stroke Encompasses This Person

Dear Joyce: 

I am 32 had my stroke only a year ago, but I still have an angry mood. I argue with my wife, mother, and friends when I know they mean the best for me. Does this anger go away or will I have it forever!

Signed,

Angry is LA

Dear Angry in LA,

The answer is complicated, and some people get rid of the anger quickly, while some take longer. But no, you won't have it forever. 

I have a theory: the better your life was before the stroke, the longer I will take you to get rid of the anger. There's a reason for this theory: Let's say you enjoy your job. You just got a promotion. You go shopping on the weekends and buy another new purse or an article of clothing. All is right with the world, and in a split second, no longer. You have a stroke, and everything goes in the reverse immediately. You no longer have the job, your promotion bit the dust, and you are not able to browse in stores as you once had. 

Only by looking back, you realize the anger is going away. But by asking your question, and realizing that an anger mood is not where you want to be, you have an awareness and are cognizant of the fact you don't want to be angry any longer. Good luck as your anger is slowly losing its grip on you!

Brought to you by Strokefocus and one of its associations, Northwest Brain Network

Missing the Treadmill After Rehab

Dear Joyce,

I'm two years into recovery from a stroke and I miss the treadmill that I used in the hospital. I had Physical Therapy while I was in the hospital for a month but no more since. Should I buy one or wait longer? And how long?  I still have deficits in walking and sitting.  

Signed,

Missing the Treadmill

Dear Missing,

Yikes! No physical therapy in almost two years with deficits? Leave it to the expert for what you are able and not able to do. By expert, I mean a Physical Therapist--at home or as an outpatient—to do an evaluation first before you buy one. Maybe you will eventually be able to do the treadmill, or maybe you can use one now, but first things first!

After the evaluation, tell the Physical Therapist of your longing to do the treadmill, and the PT will reply honestly. Going without physical therapy for almost two years and then buying the treadmill and using it are unacceptable ideas without the evaluation.

Brought to you by Strokefocus and one of its associations, Northwest Brain Network

Perplexed about Stroke and Life

Dear Joyce,

I am 2.6 years post stroke and no day is the same. There are many challenges and situations that arise, so I would like to explore all situations here. Survivors, what do you think?

Signed,

Perplexed in South Africa

Dear Perplexed,

I'm so glad you asked that question because no day is the same. It changes for me, too, 11 years later! Sometimes, I urinate in the morning three times in a row as a result from my stroke for urinary retention. In the 11th year, the stomach pains were finding me doubled over. It turns out, after many tests, that GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease) from too much acidity had spiked suddenly, so I changed my diet and I am well now. Yes, every day is a new adventure with stroke and, if you get a handle on the reasons, you will come to accept it as the new normal.

A Strokefocus member, Eugene Sekiguchi, adds, “My stroke was in January of 2011. The treatments available now seem to be more numerous than then and a bit confusing. So I think of that. Occasionally, I wish that I had the stroke at a different time. But now is now. The daily challenges of each day are quite different from day to day. I think that hourly or even changes by the minute are baffling, but they all seem to pass.

“My long term goals are to erase ignorance about (normal) aging and put into context strokes, TBI, and other brain injuries. Along the way, prevention, what to do and when to do it are questions that will be answered as time passes.”

Brought to you by Strokefocus and one of its associations, Northwest Brain Network

Emotions, Stress Consume Reader After Stroke

Dear Joyce, 

I often read your helpful information, but I never saw something that I am going through. From time to time, I become emotional and feel like crying or am impatient after my stroke, which causes a lot of stress. Will those feelings go away?

Signed,

Emotionally Stressed 

Dear Emotional, 

Remember that crying, impatience, and stress are typical early on. My stroke is 11 years old, and for the first 2 years, I had those same emotions. They’re part of the grieving process that we all go through as stroke survivors, and will become less and less in time.

Establishing a one-on-one relationship, preferably with another stroke survivor who’s not “new” to the game, could be beneficial. Keep in mind that stroke survivors just can’t be rushed into a support group setting because someone else thinks it would be a good idea. 

When discussing your question, another stroke survivor in the Northwest Brain Network said that it helped him to focus on things he gained before stroke--such as job experience or hobbies--rather than the challenges after stroke. 

Brought to you by Strokefocus and one of its associations, Northwest Brain Network